![\"Bling](\"http:\/\/blingcake.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/bling-cake-definitions.jpg\")
<\/p>\r\nHere are some frequently asked questions about this company, Chef Cash, and the crazy shit he says.<\/p>\r\n
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1) What is this place?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n Bling Cake is\u00a0the<\/em> hotspot for local business owners who are starving for more sales \u2014 those who demand different, effective, exceptional marketing.<\/p>\r\n Who want to go fast, grow big, and look sexy online.<\/p>\r\n Shopping for the lowest prices at the expense of expertise will getcha booted by the bouncer.\u00a0 So will small ambitions. \u00a0Got it? \u00a0Good. \u00a0Begin here<\/a>.<\/p>\r\n 2) Why am I even here?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n Gosh darn personal outreach, probably. \u00a0Ooh, or karma. \u00a0Joking. \u00a0Probably my face-to-face outreach.<\/p>\r\n 3) What is a Bling Cake?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n The solution to your sales pollution:<\/p>\r\n It’s a stack of lucrative services, as small or tall as you want, to make your business loved and craved by the planet’s peeps \u2014 and not just on birthdays.<\/p>\r\n There is a recipe for:<\/p>\r\n And more recipes not listed…<\/p>\r\n Chef Cash has perfected each of these recipes.\u00a0 Bespoke to your business.<\/p>\r\n Start with one and level up from there.\u00a0 Or mix and match right away.<\/p>\r\n Each layer more than pays for itself.<\/p>\r\n Take advantage of our 60-day money back guarantee.<\/p>\r\n Success never tasted so sweet.<\/p>\r\n 4) Who exactly is this Chef Cash guy?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n He’s my alter ego. \u00a0He’s what I’d imagine myself to be like if I just snorted a line of cocaine. \u00a0Or seven. \u00a0Dude’s different. \u00a0You can find him at your cousin’s sister’s auntie’s house, constructively criticising her cooking. \u00a0Or maybe at the local food bank, serving up some stew. \u00a0Never call him by his birth name \u2014 Clarence \u2014 unless you want five upside your head.<\/p>\r\n 5) What can I expect if I stick around?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n Unorthodox business growth services that help you live the good life. \u00a0Tailored to folks who appreciate the finer things in life. \u00a0A major emphasis is on having more time for yourself and your family. \u00a0But other cool shit as well, such as:<\/p>\r\n If you stick around, I’m here to entertain, over-deliver, make you richer, and hopefully, help you wake up a smidgen happier each day.<\/p>\r\n 6) What makes you different?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n We’re the only digital marketing company in the history of the universe to have a three-star Michelin rating. \u00a0Wink.<\/p>\r\n But look… if you’re already getting adventurous, engine-redlining results \u2014 and most importantly, fat<\/strong> margins \u2014 with your current marketing company, go you.<\/p>\r\n Also…<\/p>\r\n … if you don’t have to babysit them…<\/p>\r\n … If it’s 100% hands-off, DFY, and you hardly know they’re there…<\/p>\r\n … If their business objectives are second to yours<\/em>…<\/p>\r\n … If they understand you \u2014 your business’ values, integrity, identity, mission, goals and drive…<\/p>\r\n … and they deliver unique, bespoke material…<\/p>\r\n … If you receive reports from head honchos rather than interns…<\/p>\r\n … If their service is no cost to you because of the 10X-30X ROI revenue you didn’t have before…<\/p>\r\n … then you’ve already got a unicorn marketing agency.\u00a0 You should just stick with them.<\/p>\r\n But if they call themselves elite and they’re not doing any of that, then you ought to consider someone else.<\/p>\r\n And if there’s something you want that they can’t<\/em> cook up, then talk to me.<\/p>\r\n 7) Wait. \u00a0So there’s life beyond run-of-the-mill marketing agencies?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n Uh, does a pigeon’s b-hole pucker in a power dive? \u00a0See this page<\/a>. \u00a0Get learned. \u00a0You’re welcome.<\/p>\r\n 8) How many millionaire mentors do you have?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n Nine. \u00a0After I paid them to hang out with me, they taught me everything I know and gave me the opportunity to surround myself with people better than me, to work toward fulfilling my potential, and to deliver the best marketing and advertising services money can buy.<\/p>\r\n 9) Do you only like coffee when it’s swimming in grass-fed butter and coconut oil?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n No, I’ll drink it straight if I have to.\u00a0 In fact, I’ll take it just about any way I can.\u00a0 I’ll even eat it dry if my back’s against the wall.<\/p>\r\n 10) Why all the swearing?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n One, Chef Cash is a colorful character. \u00a0Two, so people wake up and pay attention. \u00a0Three, it’s funny. \u00a0If you’re too fancy pants to take it in stride, there’s the door (disguised as the back button).<\/p>\r\n 11) Will you write copy for my website?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n Fo’ shizzle. \u00a0It’s one of my specialty recipes.<\/p>\r\n 12) Where do you live?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n In reality. \u00a0Also, sunny Colorado.\u00a0 As for my alter ego? \u00a0Who knows?\u00a0 Some mystical mountain where money really does<\/em> grow on trees and bombshells feed him mangosteen, dragon fruit and wine all day long?\u00a0 Sounds about right.<\/p>\r\n 13) If you could offer just one piece of advice, what would it be?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n For local business owners, specifically, I’d say this: get the fuck onto the top spot of Google’s search results already because:<\/p>\r\n Because that probably left you dangling, I’ll add this: find a partner you admire, who puts your business goals first, wants to build a relationship instead of have you as a client for self-serving reasons, and has a rock solid guarantee for these top shelf results.\u00a0 That’s the only way to make it.<\/p>\r\n 14) What now?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n If you haven’t yet, send me a message on whichever platform I messaged you first.\u00a0 If you don’t know what to say, just type “gimme some free treats.”<\/strong><\/p>\r\n I’ll do a full online market analysis of you and your competitors and show you straightforward steps that you can use right now to get an edge on your top competitors.<\/p>\r\n Yours to digest.\u00a0 I don’t need anything in return except for you to start doing something about your less than ideal situation TODAY.<\/p>\r\n Double down on your knowledge, as my current coach says.\u00a0 Get a little wiser and a little less ignorant about this critical<\/em>, Winner-Take-All game that is Google, and how it affects you specifically.<\/p>\r\n 15) Where else can I stalk you?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n Since we have a face-to-face relationship (you know I like to send those videos), let’s keep it deadbolt on your favorite messaging platform.\u00a0 Choose your favorite and send me a message!<\/p>\r\n WTF is this place? Here are some frequently asked questions about this company, Chef Cash, and the crazy shit he says. 1) What is this place? Bling Cake is\u00a0the hotspot for local business owners who are starving for more sales \u2014 those who demand different, effective, exceptional marketing. Who want to go fast, grow big, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"no-sidebar","site-content-layout":"page-builder","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"disabled","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"disabled","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"wf_page_folders":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blingcake.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1455"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blingcake.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blingcake.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blingcake.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blingcake.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1455"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blingcake.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1455\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blingcake.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1455"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"wf_page_folders","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blingcake.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/wf_page_folders?post=1455"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"Your](\"http:\/\/blingcake.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/99-problems.jpg\")
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Free money: watch me build a $1M+ online marketing plan for your<\/em> business in 10 minutes.<\/h5>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"